Silently Suffering

 I almost popped.

I'd been pushed passed my capacity.

I've been mistreated for months,

for speaking the truth. 

I squashed delusions and was deemed crazy.

I snatched gas away from those who tried to light me ablaze and was referred to as difficult.

I addressed lies about me head on and was told I was stirring the pot.

I stood in my morals, refusing to be moved and was labeled a jerk.

And I kept walking.

And I kept working.

And I kept learning.

Forgiveness is free,

but forgetting comes at a price I'm not going to pay. 

I will never forget being made to feel small and the work it took to regrow myself.

I will never forget how the people who claim to love me gave me the silent treatment for months. 

I will never forget how those same people tried to turn me against my sister.

I refuse to forget.

Because there are lessons in these experiences.

I refuse to disbelieve who a person is when they reveal themselves. 

And I also refuse to continue to suffer silently.

It's so lonely over there. 

And it hurts too.

I thank God for the wisdom to know when to walk away.

"It's above me now."